The Secret Life of Moms: When Winter Break Ends

When Winter Break ends, we can all breathe a collective sigh of relief.

The Secret Life of Moms
Does the thought of your kids going back to school after the Winter Break have you dancing as you step over the stuff they’ve left in your den?

I can hear Aretha Franklin in my head singing “Freedom…Freedom.. FREEDOM!” like she does here in “Think”, but only if I’m wearing earmuffs, because it has been SO LOUD IN THIS HO– USE! One kid is loud, four kids together can be deafening, and my dog’s nervous shaking proves it. I was more than ready for them to be back on their schedules and for me to be able to work in the peace and quiet for a few hours each day. Apparently I’m not the only one who needed a break from the holiday hoopla and startling noises that happen all day long, and a bunch of awesome moms that I know agreed to be a part of this photo montage! They’ll show you exactly what they’re doing after they drop the kids off at school this coming week, and I’m betting you can relate! Their reactions are hilarious.

First up is Kristen of Mommy In Sports. She’s thrilled that her kids are now back in school so that she can finally do what the rest of us are dreaming about. As the cold is seeping back into the rest of the country, Kristen, a Floridian, is celebrating her rediscovered freedom at the beach. The hot sun is melting away the stress and frigid feelings of desperation that have dominated her days for the past few weeks.
SecretLifeofMoms Life's a Beach

Sarah of HouseWife Plus fame is so relieved to have her kids back on their normal schedule that she’s celebrating with vino… straight from the box. I know that feeling, girl… I know it well. Be sure you have an extra box of wine on hand for when they come home from that first day back… it’s a doozie.
SecretLifeofMoms Fill Er Up

SecretLifeofMoms Clean as a whistle
Deva of My LifeSuckers is FINALLY able to enjoy a phone call or seven in peace. It’s amazing that she can actually hear what other people are saying, and that they can hear her, now that she’s not trying to keep kids quiet and handle the insanity that all kids pull as soon as their parent gets on the phone. You go girl! Enjoy making that root canal appointment and actually hearing the receptionist tell you the time it’s scheduled.
SecretLifeofMoms Can You Hear Me Now

Joy of Eviljoy Speaks is combining two amazing missions in one here: First of all she’s enjoying all of the candy her kids got for Christmas by eating the good, chocolate stuff AND throwing away the rest. This means that she gets a treat and they will no longer get to be all sugared up like cracked out jackrabbits. WIN. WIN.
SecretLifeofMoms Candy Crush

Meredith of The Mom of the Year is FINALLY getting to enjoy her Christmas presents without constant interruption from the kids that call her Mom. She’s immersing herself in a new coloring book for adults, while deciding whether to enjoy the quiet bliss or play some loud KC and the Sunshine Band. Yes, it’s playtime and pajama pants for her until school is over.
SecretLifeofMoms It's Finally Playtime

The look of utter joy on Jennifer of OutSmarted Mommy‘s face says it all. She’s so excited, and she just can’t hide it… she’s about to lose control and she thinks she likes it. She’s going to party like it’s 1999… in the grocery store without any kids. If you see her strutting around like Mick Jagger and singing “Start Me Up” in the produce section, don’t be alarmed.
SecretLifeofMoms Party Like Its 1999

Here I am, actually getting write articles and engage on social media and create this post WITHOUT INTERRUPTION!As much as I love having my kids home for awhile, I get very little work done, and Mama’s gotta work. Doing what I do helps me keep my few remaining shreds of sanity and pay for things like dance lessons (the kids not mine) and athletic supporters (again, not mine) and scotch (all mine).
SecretLifeofMoms Takin Care of Business

Oh my goodness… Nicole of Suburban Sh*t Show is luxuriating in the quiet of her home and READING! And folks, these are nursery rhymes and Hello Kitty counting books she’s enjoying; Stephen King and trashy romance novels abound in her cozy laundry room fort. Maybe if I’m really nice and bring snacks or wine she will let me come read in there, too… Okay fine, I’ll bring wine AND snacks.
SecretLifeofMoms Precious and Few

Ashley of The Malleable Mom was able to enjoy a relaxing shower for more than five minutes. The awesomeness doesn’t stop there; not only is she freshly showered, dressed nicely, and looking beautiful with her gorgeous and hair and face, she’s sitting in a CLEAN HO– USE that no one will mess up for a few hours! Which means that she actually gets to enjoy being in an orderly clean living room without it’s usual clothes, shoes, granola bar wrappers, and toys strewn all over the place. And she’s enjoying a cocktail. Heaven.
SecretLifeofMoms Clean as a whistle

A girl after my own heart, Jennifer of MomCave TV is having cookies for lunch BECA– USE SHE CAN. Not one single kid will ask her for a bite or pester her to share. She can eat the whole freaking box if she wants to with NO ONE to answer to about it. I recommend a can of frosting to dip those cookies in, friend… Mind-blowing, I tell you.
SecretLifeofMoms Lunch of Luxury

Julianna of Rants From Mommyland is living the luxurious life while her kids are slaving away over math, handwriting, and diagramming sentences (do kids even do that anymore?) by actually using the Gift Cards she received for Christmas. Reading her NEW BOOK while listening to her NEW MUSIC with her OWN HEADPHONES while drinking STARBUCKS COFFEE and getting a PEDICURE. Basically she was making it rain gift cards all over town like a mom-baller.
SecretLifeofMoms Makin It Rain

It usually takes me a couple of days to recover from an extended school break, but the way I see it, it’s necessary for me to enjoy the peace and quiet and restore my sanity’s equilibrium. That way I don’t run away, and the kids aren’t scarred for life.

Plus, we all need to prepare ourselves for Spring Break, and I don’t mean getting in shape… Just like the Terminator, they’ll be back.

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