Sunday Confessions: Awkward Moments “How I Ended Up in my Husband’s Ex’s Wedding”

by: Jessica Azar

One of my favorite bloggers at Has an on-going weekly writing prompt/column by where other bloggers are encouraged to write about a particular subject. This week, it’s about awkward moments that we’ve experienced. These moments can range from walking in on someone of the opposite gender in the bathroom to calling someone’s baby the wrong gender to congratulating someone on their new pregnancy, only to find out that they’ve miscarried (THAT is heart-wrenching and I’m always terrified of that happening). But the situation/moment that I’ve chosen has impacted my life in a big way, and I’m really grateful that it happened…. But at the time it kind of bewildered me.

Let me begin by explaining that the High Roller, my amazing husband of nearly nine years, dated a girl starting in high school and their relationship lasted for about four years… It wasn’t a quick little dating situation… They were very involved with each other’s families and people we ran into ALWAYS seemed to ask about her, and how she was doing… I think some people did it to unnerve me and some did it without thinking that it might make me feel uncomfortable, but it always came off as slightly rude. I’m a secure, confident person, and did my best to appear unruffled, but come on… Anyone knows that would be awkward for the new girlfriend.

So fast forward a couple of years from the High Roller and I beginning our relationship to us being newly married. Over the course of those couple of years, the ex, her name is Holly, and I mainly spent our time avoiding each other, but, being girls, there were less than nice things said both ways and transmitted via our community’s whisper-wire. I also became friends with many of her family members, and always felt the necessity (as did they) to hide the fact that we had anything to do with each other. This was especially hard in some instances, because my awesome sister-in-law was VERY good friends with the ex’s younger sister, so socially we were all together a bunch. And I LIKED her family… A lot! Awesome people… And they loved my now husband… It just seemed unfair in someway. It made me resent her and the situation in general.

We finally were forced to be in the same place at the same time (before that, amazingly, we had managed to avoid it for the most part) and that finally happened at the visitation for Holly’s grandmother’s funeral. My husband had known the grandmother well, and out of the immense respect that we both have for her family, it wasn’t even a question of whether we should go. Her grandmother had a large family… Having had four sons who all had lots of kids and then those kids had kids… And they are well thought of in the community, so this visitation was packed. But even so, I knew that we would more than likely see the Holly. We did run into her, and it was definitely kind of awkward. So, being my chatty self, and knowing that she would be getting married in a couple of months from then, started asking her about what bridal showers she was having and other small wedding talk… Having been married two months prior to this, I was well-versed in all of that stuff. I made the off-hand remark of “If you have anymore Bridal Showers, send me an invite! I’d love to come.”… And that was that.

A week or so later, I received something from Holly in the mail… Opened it, and it was an invitation to her Bachelorette Party. That’s the awkward moment I am writing about. Part of me wondered if it was a joke, or if it was a hand extended to get to know me better… Or WHAT. Asked the High Roller what he thought, and he was as baffled as I was. He told me to feel free to go if I wanted to, but to be sure to stay sober enough to drive home in case I needed to leave if it got weird. I debated all week about what to do… And then I saw Holly at the school where they had both gone to high school at a Friday night football game. I sat down and started talking to her, and we had a blast. We wound up leaving the game together (with my husband’s eyebrows raised about as high as they would go), went and had drinks at her house, (vodka and red bull was our choice at that stage in life) and had an absolute blast. I went to her Bachelorette party the next night… Had a blast yet again and our friendship has continued to grow for nearly a decade now.

I mean… The High Roller obviously liked both of us enough to date us for long periods of time… so naturally she and I found that we had tons of things in common. Both of us genuinely thought it was hilarious that other people were surprised and mildly shocked at our friendship. We say what we think, and while I tend to be a tiny bit more subdued about it, we both enjoy living our lives OUR way. She’s helped me to loosen up on things that truly don’t matter as much as I once thought they did, and I’m sure I’ve had some effect on her, too. And we both like to sing. LOUD.

To keep this story from getting even longer, she asked me to be I her wedding… Like three weeks before the wedding occurred. We were able to get a dress that matched her other bridesmaids, and we loved it. A lot of people were confused, and bless my amazing husband for putting up with my crazy self and my dragging him through some this stuff. Yes, he came to the wedding to see me be a bridesmaid, and they marched him straight up the aisle to the side pews, so EVERYONE saw that he was there. God love him.
Holly and I have gone on to help each other through some rough times, and supported each other through her having 2 kids and me having 4…. And I’m truly grateful that an awkward situation led me to a fantastic friendship.

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